Imagine this: the very first conscious memory you have is a picture of your dad's face being less than six inches away from your own. He is smiling, holding your head in his hands. He is talking to you, and the best word to describe how you feel is safe. There is no place on earth that compares to the feeling you have when you are in your father's arms.
Then, one day, you disobey. Not just a little thing, but a biggie. A really big one - one that gets you put out of the house. Suddenly, you are on your own, having to fend for yourself. What once was easy has now become burdensome. The routine has become difficult. Where confident assurance existed, fear now resides.
And to beat it all, the worst part of this life is that you realize you miss your Dad. Not that you would admit it openly, but it is true nonetheless. You miss living in your own room in his house. You miss eating at his table, playing in the back yard that was once yours to have all the adventures you could imagine.
Then the really scary part hits you. You don't just miss all these things; you miss him! There is a massive hole in your heart where He once lived and moved and made you feel as alive as you truly were. You miss the joy of being in your father's house.
One day your older brother seeks you out to tell you all is forgiven, that you can come back home. It is a difficult thing to accept, because you have learned to adapt in your environment, forging out a sustainable existence. You refuse, because you have learned to "make do" on your own; you are okay where you are, even though you know in that deep recess of your being that okay isn't.
Could it be that, however remote, your dad has forgiven you? Could it be that you are again welcome in your father's house? Could it be that he really does want you to come home again? Does he really want to get you out of the pigsty existence you mistakenly call good? Does he really want to give you back your place at the table and dine with him? Is it even possible that you could resume the work he said only you were able to do?
Suddenly the thought hits you: could it be that he misses me? Even me? the one who stole from him, the one who disobeyed him, who disrespected everything he was doing for me? The urge to keep running away is so great; but my dad loves me. He misses me. he really wants me to come back home. Could it really be that He means it?
You know there is only one way to find out. You have to go to him. You have to see his face, watch his body language. You have to risk what is left of who you think you are and what you know you have become. You must take the chance.
So you set out on the road back to dad's house. Along the way you keep rehearsing what you want to try to say to him. Nothing fits with what is in your heart, because the only thing there is shame. No, that's not quite right; hope is there, too, right beside it. You want to be back in your dad's house, doing -
No, it's more than that. You want his laughter back in your heart. You want his joy and acceptance within you, his love surrounding you again. You want him.
You want more.
And now you know.
It's yours.
If you want it.
Do you?
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